He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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