Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
