omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
