i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
