Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
