It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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