Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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