6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
