how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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