Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
