It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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