what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
