I need help removing her.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
