I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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