Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
