only you would photoshop your dick
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
