She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize