What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
