he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize