I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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