I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You've changed since you got that strap on
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