i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
