Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
