Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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