mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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