TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
3 2 1 whiskey
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
