just tell him i said nine months
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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