Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
