Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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