Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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