I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
