I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
