i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I died a long time ago.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
