I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When are your genitals available?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
