The maid of honor just puked.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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