Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
