i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
