Sry I called you an 8
I have demons in me.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
