What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
