I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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