Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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