in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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