Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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