Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
