More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
