so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
