As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
