Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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