I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
