Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
