Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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