Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
