going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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