On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
