Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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