u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
