Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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