So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sarcasm needs its own font
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
what the fuck happened to the tacos
ok first of all what the fuck
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
