I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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