So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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