I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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