I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I love you.
Bad choice
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize