What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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