I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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