ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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