her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
