Sponge bath it is.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
