I must be too annoying 4 u.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
