ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
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