dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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