what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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