Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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