I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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