He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All the doctor said was why
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
