She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize