he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I fill condoms, not promises.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
