ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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